It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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