PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize