She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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