i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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