Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize