I don't usually arrange sex via text message
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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