so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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