they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize