Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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