did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize