And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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