i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize