There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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