You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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