i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize