they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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