im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize