I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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