I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize