Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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