All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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