the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mom said you looked used
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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