Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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