make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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