that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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