my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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