I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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