i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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