Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize