he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize