i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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