just come out here and I will go home with you...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
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I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize