I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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