I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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