so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize