Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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