awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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