I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize