So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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