Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(551): View more from New Jersey

And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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(551): And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries... http://tfl.nu/h7d9

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(703): View more from Virginia

look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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(703): look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys http://tfl.nu/ae48

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.

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(617): I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits. http://tfl.nu/9n54

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(516): View more from New York

Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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(516): Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer. http://tfl.nu/tp9x

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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(717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq

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(517): View more from Michigan

Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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(517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj

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(281): View more from Texas

Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

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(281): Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers. http://tfl.nu/dra4

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?

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(603): sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall? http://tfl.nu/ejbk

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(515): View more from Iowa

When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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(515): When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation" http://tfl.nu/vmn5

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

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(862): I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you? http://tfl.nu/xnnk

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(415): View more from California

Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!

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(415): Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM! http://tfl.nu/lg7j

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(760): View more from California

They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure

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(760): They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure http://tfl.nu/8s7w

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.

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(662): Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well. http://tfl.nu/ilv0

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(313): View more from Michigan

its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.

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(313): its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom. http://tfl.nu/3nbn

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(210): View more from Texas

And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that

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(210): And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that http://tfl.nu/fyxx

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