My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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