i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize