dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize