"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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