I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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