If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize