STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize