the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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