Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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