I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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